So, I am heading home to my Dudes on an airplane after my Tulum ‘incident’ (read all about that HERE) and I am thinking all about society’s role in Body Positivity and the role it plays in Mamas loving their Mom Bod.
I decide to put on the movie GI Jane, because, well, Demi Moore. And I am drifting in and out of my thoughts while watching this woman ‘Damn the Man’ and pull out all the stops to change society’s view on women. (If you haven’t watched GI Jane, you should. Seriously.)
Anyways, there is this whole montage sequence where Demi Moore is working towards being able to complete the physical tasks she needs to become a Navy SEAL. And, as always, I am in awe of the sequence where she works super fucking hard to do a one-armed pushup.
And here is what happened, Mama. I find myself thinking, ‘I wonder if I could do a one-armed pushup? I wonder how I would work up to that. Arm strength work, obviously, but the core work would have to be intense too..’ I slowly but surely realize that I am more amazed at what her body can DO than what her body looks like. Don’t get me wrong, I totally admire her body in this movie. I mean, have you SEEN Demi Moore. Smoke-show. BUT I am totally admiring her body for what it is capable of.
And I think to myself, ‘Well, hell. That’s a beautiful start. Thanks brain.’
I get home to my husband and I tell him all about Tulum, everything amazing thing that happened, the incredible women who helped me grow, the sun, the water, all of it.
Then I tell him about my Demi Moore epiphany and he suggests we watch Terminator 2, because, well, Linda Hamilton. (and because I had never watched it….) So we snuggle up and then, there is this scene where Linda Hamilton is doing pull-ups and I am in awe. ‘Holy shit! What kind of training did she have to do to do that?? I have ALWAYS wanted to do a pull-up. How would I start that? Jesus, this movie is exciting. And terrifying.’
And once again, I was uber proud of my brain.
So here it is. Here is the point of my rambling on about the incredible abilities of Demi Moore and Linda Hamilton. Here is what these women taught/retaught me about loving my Mom Bod and goals.
1) My brain is doing the work. It is working REALLY hard to rewire it’s pathways from 30 some years of the patriarchy telling my that I was only attractive if I was skinny. All of the inner work I have been doing to train my body to be strong instead of skinny, to work on strength goals instead of scale goals, to recognize that all bodies are good bodies, it is working. Instead of wanting Demi and Linda’s BODIES (yes, we are on a first name basis now), I wanted their strength, their dedication to fitness goals, their badass-ness.
2) It reiterated that strength goals are the sexiest goals.
3) It reminded me that every goal starts at not being able to do it. At the starting line of a goal, you suck. Then, because of the compound effect, you get better and better and better over time until you reach the goal. And then you set another. Instant gratification isn’t a thing in fitness. Taking small steps towards your goal, every day is a thing in fitness. (Even if that thing is ‘rest’). But we never allow ourselves to GET to the goal because we are already so mad at ourselves for not being able to do the thing right away.
So even though it has taken me months to process all of my feelings around being told I had a ‘Mom Bod’ in a negative way, I have come out the other side knowing in my heart of hearts that the work I do with Mamas to get them to set strength goals instead of scale goals, to rewire the neural pathways in their brains, to allow themselves to suck hard at the beginning of the goal-getting, is incredibly valuable work and MUCH needed.
I am super proud of the work I do. And I hope I have made a small difference in the way you think.
And if you haven’t quite gotten there yet, go watch GI Jane and Terminator 2. Because those women are badasses.